Hermitblog

‌ It would definitely be nice to have 1st world problems in life but trust me it is good to not have them. It sometimes really surprises me when I sit with my friends who are privileged. Privileged not in the sense that it is a bad thing. It is not because someone in their life decided to not be underprivileged and of course that passes on to future generations. But not being privileged myself in any sort, it really amazes me when they can focus on problems like "Getting judged", "Not going anywhere this summer", there are many but the most frequent and most surprising for me in particular would be "hating your family to not let you buy a piece of clothing, accessory, game, gadget" etc. Then there are people like me. I am happy they are paying my fees, I am happy I am getting ₹6000 a month to spend on necessities and I don't have to go and work for that money. Not having 1st world problems taught me a lot. Perhaps I am finding a way to make myself feel...

It's so funny I always wanted to be like books, "No complaints, no demands." Books, just doing their thing and making everybody around them happy, connecting with strangers. I like to see myself as a book. You know with an obvious cover looking like a human. A more attractive one. I didn't use attractive word for flattery, I used it because I do realise that even in this progressive society a fair girl is still a more attractive look. So hopefully without hurting anybody's feelings let me continue with my analogy. So I am imagining myself as a book among many books in this library called the world. Now obviously people are looking, someone liked me, started reading me but to find out that I am not for them, some didn't even like to interact with me because my cover was not attractive enough for them. Now there were very few interactions that proved to be meaningful. Those were the people who matter. They picked me up, opened me, read me, liked some parts, some...

I have been in a happy relationship with a guy for almost four years now and today I came to realise that he's such different guy than what I was thinking. I always thought he's a normal guy with little insecurities, a bit desi, a bit modern. Just the right amount of Haryanavi. Today he said that, "Girls don't want guys to approach them in a bar or they are committed then they should not wear short clothes. A girl wearing short dresses is an invitation for a guy to approach her." Am feeling so helpless right now because I never thought I was dating guy who came out today. Was I really this oblivious the whole time. Is he really not the guy I thought he was. I thought he is a MBA from IIM, a prestigious institute of India. I thought he might be haryanvi but he must be a little progressive because we talked and talked for hours for years. And I never came across this side of him. Or he made me think. Did I choose to ignore that side of him. Was he always like this. ...

Yes, failures don't matter in the long run. You will not even remember when you got 50% or 90% in school. Or when you got a supply in your college. But that doesn't reduce the pain in the short term. You cry and cry because you have to get through it. You have to sit through those exams again. You have to pass through those corridors where people are judging you for being a failure right now. You cannot just go to your relatives and your parents and make them feel better by telling them you will be successful in the future. It's so convenient really. On one side you'll be asked to stay in the present, Life is too short. On the other hand, these failures don't matter, they don't decide your future. Work hard towards your future. I mean pick a lane. I have been crying for a week now since my result came out and not to my surprise nobody's there for me the way I am. And let me be honest having myself on my side is not a party either. I know for a fact that I co...

What can I say, she is the most amazing person that I have ever seen in my life. Not like I have grown alot but I met a load of people and none of them.. I know like people like to think that their mothers are the most ordinary people in this world. But I am truly the one who can say that without any doubts that she got the most amazing, extraordinary, one in trillions- mother. When children go out and live their lives in hostels and colleges, children want space. My mother gave me space but she also made sure that I knew she was always there beside me. She used to call me every night without forgetting. If there are 365 days in a year I didn't spend a single day without talking to her and my friend used to say that this is not necessary, you have grown now you don't have to talk to your mother daily but I used to take pride that I am with a mother who knows the value of space while she in a sense used to tell me that I am not all alone in this world. I can do whatever I want b...

Dear boyfriend,    I have so many thoughts inside me and this is really new to me. Because I generally say whats on my mind because I believe in conversations. With you I experience some difficulty in these conversations. The first thought that may come into your head is that here I go blaming you again. This is not a blaming text, its a kind and pure bundle of words I feel but can't express with the feeling of you understanding them. It doesn't matter how much I tell you about my problems, you want me to behave in a certain way that can make you happy. Its not currently possible for me. I am sorry if I don't laugh on your jokes, I genuinely don't find anything funny. I spend my whole days watching sitcoms and I Don't even remember when was the last time I found them funny. I told you this even though I was not comfortable repeating the only guy I tell everything yet again that m not feeling normal. I really felt like you would understand even just out of empathy. B...